Treasure Your Personal Soundtrack

I had a moment the other day - a moment that swept me away from my current reality and back 10 years to young adult life.  A wave of emotions crashed over me as I felt like I was right back in my old car, worrying about some silly guy, excited about the promise of the future.  All of this was brought on by a song.

You see, I had recently acquired a smart phone on which I promptly uploaded many of my old CDs that had been sitting on a shelf collecting dust.  My CD collection dates back to the first CD I ever bought (Black Crowes - Shake Your Money Maker...in case you were wondering) and includes CDs from my mid-adolescence, early University years, young adulthood, courtship with my husband, and current favourites.  It contains, in essence, the soundtrack of my life. 

This remarkable moment came as I was driving in my car (not the best time or place for a remarkable moment to happen, but fortunately, no one was hurt) and was listening to my old songs on my new device.  When one of my favourite songs began playing and I instinctively sang along, I was immediately transported to another time and place.  I remembered every word, every guitar riff, every little detail about a song I had not heard in 10 years.  I found myself FEELING different...as if I was re-experiencing the emotions I felt when that song was important in my life.  Truly remarkable.

I'm not sure why I was so surprised by the moment.  As a music therapist, I try to provide this for my elderly clients every day!  I am constantly telling people about how music can help individuals reconnect with themselves, with their past, with others, and with life moments.  But I guess when it happens to you, it's just different...and unexpected.

So why am I sharing this? 

It became so clear to me that we need to treasure our personal soundtracks.  As smart phones and laptops and MP3 players are quickly replacing CDs, we run the risk of losing the ability to access the music of our lives when we need it most.  A downloaded album will easily be thrown away as outdated devices get replaced by newer, shinier models.  Sure, they may be transfered to the new devices, but eventually they'll be lost.  And lost will be an unexpected moment when a song you needed to hear begins to play.

I needed to hear that song.  It reminded me of who I AM.  It reminded me of who I wanted to be back then - of the dreams I had, of the wonder I had for life.  It reminded me that I still AM that person, just with a few more life lessons, a little less time, and a couple of kids pulling my attention in every direction.  It's easy to forget one's self when life just keeps coming.  My personal soundtrack helped me remember myself in such a gentle, beautiful way.

So treasure your soundtracks.  Save your CDs.  Pull them out and dust them off every once in a while.  Share them with your spouse, your kids, your friends.  They'll learn a lot about you...and you'll remember alot about yourself.

www.cristinbostrom.com

Musical Teambuilding Workshops

One of my favourite things to do in my music therapy practice is to lead musical teambuilding workshops.  This is where I am hired to provide time and space for groups to have fun creating music together while simultaneously strengthening working relationships and highlighting the importance of each individual's unique contribution to the group.  I love being the "fun" part of their day.  I love the looks of excitement (and nervousness) as I unpack my various percussion instruments.  I love having people try - and be successful at - new things.  I love seeing the groups really work together throughout the session.  I love spreading the message of truly and fully LISTENING to each other to have more successful relationships.

Musical teambuilding works because, I believe, music is an excellent metaphor for group dynamics.  Think of any song you like listening to.  Unless the song was written, recorded, performed, and produced by one individual, there was probably a great deal of teamwork involved in creating the final product.  The interesting thing about music is that we get to HEAR the final product and the individual contributions coming together to create the sound that we enjoy. We get to feel the rhythm, be moved by the harmony, attach ourselves to the melody, and ride along as the song journeys from beginning to end.  The music we enjoy is created by teams of indviduals with specific backgrounds and talents who come together with a common understanding of tempo, volume, pitch, and progression.

If any group is going to function successfully, there needs to be successful collaboration between individuals with unique backgrounds and talents, all of whom have a common understanding of the task at hand.  Through musical teambuilding, group members get to physically experience the elements of sucessful group dynamics because the music either sounds good or it doesn't.  They receive immediate feedback and can therefore work together (without speaking) to fix any problems and create an appealing sound.  And they get to ENJOY the sound of playing together when it does work.

I'd like to offer a quick list of needs that groups have in order to function successfully, and how music is a metaphor for these needs:

1) To be on the same page:  Music requires each group member to work together toward a common goal - starting in unison, stopping in unison, playing at the same tempo, and following a progression in the music.

2) To listen to each other's ideas:  When playing music together, the only way to achieve an appealing sound is to listen to what each other is playing, and to adjust our playing accordingly.

3) To find individual roles where we each use our talents:  Some people like being leaders and will choose the loudest and biggest drum.  Others like to offer decorative accents and will choose smaller more unique sounding instruments.  Some group members will create group cohesion with eye contact while others will be happy to follow along and be a valuable member of the ensemble.

4) To understand where each other is coming from:  In verbal sharing throughout the session, group members often reveal pieces of information about themselves that offer insight into their behaviour and thought process.  Because of the creative nature of the sessions, people are often willing to share more about themselves as they are using a different part of the brain than they normally use at work or in their role within the organization/group. 

5) To trust and respect each other:  The way people play music often reveals a great deal about their core personality, or about hidden parts of their personality. Someone who is normally shy and quiet may come alive when playing instruments. Conversely, someone who is seen as a strong leader may reveal some insecurities in the music session. These windows into a person's true self break down barriers and build trust, thereby strengthening relationships.

6) To know how to work together to overcome challenges:  When the music starts getting off track, group members can hear the dissonance and can feel the lack of cohesion.  Without a leader to direct the playing, each member must listen and adjust his or her playing to regain a pleasing sound.

I know from leading these sessions that music is not for everyone, but everyone in a group can benefit from musical teambuilding.  Afterall, who doesn't enjoy banging on a drum or stomping their feet?  Like it or not, our inate responsiveness to music has, and always will, bring us together.

www.cristinbostrom.com

Singing with young children creates strong bonds and special moments

For the past few weeks, I've been singing more with my two-year old daughter. She's reached an age where she enjoys listening to different songs and can differentiate between songs. She is also developing preferences for certain songs (although this usually changes on a daily basis). She enjoys singing along and practicing finding different pitches with her voice.

Singing with her has highlighted for me the importance of singing with children - especially for parents or caregivers of young children. When we sing together or when I sing to her, I immediately notice a shift in our presence with each other. We both seem to be more aware, more connected, more in tune (pardon the pun). She slows down and I slow down. We breathe together because our vocal phrases are being sung together. When the better part of our days together are spent primarily in a tug-of-war state - me trying to understand her two-year old rationale, and she trying to make sense of her world and my requests - these moments of togetherness in song bring sweet and delightful respite.

Here are some great reasons to sing with young children:

1) A child listens differently to words that are sung. Humans are naturally more aware when a message is delivered in a musical way. Music enters our brain and immediately travels through the emotional processing area. We tend to pay more attention when something creates an emotional response in us.

2) When we sing together, we release a bond-forming hormone. It has been shown that oxytocin is released when people sing or make music together. This is the same hormone released when we embrace, when we make love, and during breastfeeding.

3) Singing together creates a physical connection. As you both sing the same sounds, phrases, and melody, you are both present in that moment in a similar physical way. You are also breathing at a similar rate and pace as the phrasing of the song dictates when you breathe. It's like holding hands without touching.

4) You both slow down. Taking time to choose a song, to listen to each other, to look at each other for actions and prompts all require us to slow down and really pay attention to each other. I've found that singing as part of the bedtime routine is an easy way to bring my daughter's energy level down at the end of the day. She often falls asleep halfway through a song.

5) Children love action songs, and most of them don't require much movement for a tired mom, dad, or caregiver. Wiggling fingers, clapping hands, raising arms, air honking horns - these are all actions that are part of simple children's songs and none of them require running around or jumping up and down. Children love learning new actions and love being successful when they perform the actions during the songs.

6) Most children's songs have a simple and predictable rhythm and melody. Children respond very well to predictability and thrive when they can be successful within predictable boundaries. Songs are like pre-packaged successful moments. Children know when a song starts and when it ends, they pick up the rhythm easily and get a sense of how fast it moves, and they quickly learn to follow the (often repetitive) melody. The predict where the song will go, they feel comfortable with the parameters, and they participate successfully.

Let me just finish by saying one very important thing: you do not need to have a good voice to reap the benefits of singing with children. Our children aren't music critics and don't know the difference between a professional singer or a sing-in-the-car-with-all-the-windows-up singer. Children like the rhythm, melody, words, and funny actions in songs. They crave the attention and the connection that comes with music-making. Be silly if you feel self-conscious. They'll love it even more!

Oh, and if your child covers his ears and tells you to stop singing, don't take it personally. My daughter regularly does this to me and I sing professionally every day as a music therapist.